For all the Hairy Pooter fans out there, behold the ultimate Christmas present. Desperately trying to cash in on the wizard-wannabe-no-accounting-for-the-taste crowd, manufacturer Kymera excreted this little nugget just in time for the holidays. The Kymera KYMWAND Universal Remote Control. Unlike Harry Potters wand, this one is not eleven inches of holly with a phoenix feather as its core, oh no, this is a 14" long stick made out of some toxic Chinese plastic with a core of AAA batteries. Please note, that's 14" so you can break ice with lines like "Yeah, mine is longer than Harrys".
As if sheer length wasn't enough impetus to own one of these, it also functions as an Infrared remote that can learn up to 13 infrared codes from an existing remote and can be activated with 13 predefined movement gestures. Since we are not done bashing the phallic college humor into the ground, we would also like to mention that it goes into sleep mode after 60 seconds of inactivity, and that at 14" it is perhaps the longest thing to ever come out of China. And now I dare you to buy one of these, put on some robes, walk into some sports bar, during a football game, and in front of angry drunken fans (Raiders preferably), bust out the wand and with flourish turn off all the TVs with a "Finite Incantatum" spell. Booyah! The Kymera KYMWAND Universal Remote Control.