"Quite frankly, you’ve got it just a bit too easy. You rise 98 seconds before you’re scheduled to clock in, you mash a power button, and suddenly, you’re at work. PJs still caked to your legs, mouth still steaming from a lack of brushing. You’re a telecommuter, and you’re the envy of the working world. In fact, it’d be just stellar if you’d do us all a solid and add a sliver of complexity to your workday — you know, like swapping out your OfficeMax special for an elliptical machine. And maybe, just maybe, you can convert your laptop into one that’s pedal-powered, forcing you to keep churning for fear of dropping from the virtual office. And no, you can’t ask for donations to cover the $8,000 price tag — your fuel savings from last week alone should just about cover it. Harrumph."