Rings To Rule Them All

Posted on Sep 22 2008 - 9:12am by L.

Remember Ring Meat Tenderizer Ring Clock Ring

Today we are going to explore the amazing and dubious world of ring gadgetry. Since we aren’t going after XXX-Rated content, we will not be highlighting Prince Albert accoutrements. However there are plenty other rings to talk about.

Read the looong Story after the break.


1. The LEGO Ring  – combines the absolute cool of LEGO, Diamonds and Gold. Designed by Jacqueline Sanchez the Forever Young Ring Number 1 Diamond Ring goes for around $250 on the web.

Lego Ring 

2. Vibrating GPS Ring (huh, WTF?!) – Two vibrating rings which can guide the wearer around a city via global positioning satellite (GPS) have been unveiled by a British designer at the Royal College of Art. This one comes with a controller that was simply too big to be crammed into a ring, it can be worn around your neck or on a chain attached to your ankle (joking). The controller has a display of eight digits, which allows for a postcode to be entered. It also houses an electronic compass and GPS system, which is what powers the device’s navigation. The signal is then transmitted to the two rings, inside of which are a small vibrating motor and antenna.

The rings buzz for left and right, and have different vibrations for forwards and backwards. Both buzz when going in the wrong direction. What I find most amusing is this – they are targeting women, the segment of the population that is not afraid to ask for directions, use maps, or use much simpler and more intuitive devices like Garmins or iPhones – instead women are expected to wear these retro hunks of cheap looking plastic ON BOTH FINGERS… Guess which finger they will be holding up for this gem?

Vibrating GPS Ring

3. Perfume Rings – amaze your friends and make new enemies by dispensing noxious smelling stuffs using these perfume rings.

Perfume Ring Perfume Ring

4. Odd Wedding Rings – these revolve around the concept that married people put things into things or screw things into things – clearly originated by people who never been married.


High Tech –CAT5 Ring 

Mid Tech –Mid Tech Ring

Low Tech – Nut Bolt Ring  

5. Viagra Ring – Simple and yet ingenious device, three “thumbs” waaaaay up, may cause Priapism – use responsibly. 

Viagra Ring  

6. USB Storage Rings – Swarovski strikes again with the unique blend of cheap looking jewelry, limited functionality and ridiculous price – after all this is “objet d’art”.   

image  image

7. Meat Tenderizing Ring – tenderize your meat with this “understated” sterling silver accessory – a must have for any self respecting fashion conscious guido or gopota.

Meat Tenderizer Ring

8. Pepper Spray Rings – not to be confused with the Perfume Rings. Filled with pepper spray (400 times stronger than the average jalapeno) has a totally unimpressive squirting range of 12 inches. An average Chihuahua can squirt considerably farther… I see this thing doing more harm than good, but it still works as a conversation piece.

Pepper Spray Ring 

9. Remember Ring – the “holly crap why is my finger on fire” ring. This cool toy is designed to aid in remembering an important date or event. Each ring has a tiny clock and battery within and, to remind you of a special day, it gently heats the ring up to 120F for 10 seconds on the hour, every hour for that entire 24-hour period. Needless to say the rings are waterproof.

Remember Ring 

10. Ring Watches – this hugely saturated category has some cool and dare I say functional entries. Here are some of them.

Clock Ring Watch Ring Time Ring

11. Bottle Opener Ring – part of the College Survival Kit, a must have for anyone pursuing Higher Education.
Bottle Opener Ring 

12. Poison Rings – True Classics, not to be confused with Viagra Rings.

Poison Ring Drug Ring


Honorable mentions go to Neodymium Magnetic rings

Magnetic Ring  that look just like regular wedding rings until you get them near magnetic metals or valuable data storage devices (oops), and the Ring Gun which we already covered, the RFID rings that (like we need another way to have our privacy invaded), and the iRing by Victor Soto (concept only).


1 Comment so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Prince Albert September 22, 2008 at 10:04 am -

    What no picture of a Prince Albert?!

Leave A Response