6, Apr 2010
Key Shaped Folding Knife

Key Shaped Folding Knife

I like knives: big knives, little knives, weird knives, functional-utilitarian knives, and even whimsical knives (I also like guns in pretty much same categories, but that's for another time). The other day, while visiting my neighborly Harbor Freight Tools hardware store, I came across this funky little key-shaped folding knife.  As most things at Harbor Freight it was sturdy, cheap, and made in China probably with underpaid child labor out of some toxic material.  For under two bucks (did I mention CHEAP), this little gem became mine. The knife part folds into the gap in the key part and the whole thing goes on a key chain. The blade itself is pretty much what you'd expect "“ small, sharp and not super functional. The key is a bit cheesy, thick and doesn't stand up to close scrutiny, especially since the blade blatantly sticks out, but it's still neat (and CHEAP). There is also the matter of the size, the packaging proudly proclaims 2" long yet the blade is 1.25" long at best, so you can fill in your juvenile Chinese Inch penis joke on your own. Oh and the key knife comes with instructions, FIVE steps instructions, with the priceless #3 that goes something like this "“ Wear ANSI-approved safety goggles and heavy duty work gloves during use "“ I shit you not!  Make sure to follow these instructions carefully "“ last thing you want is an angry inch of cold steel out of control out there in the world, Oh and I pity the fool who forgets to remove this from his keychain and tries to bring this on a plane.  Enjoy (responsibly).

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